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Showing posts from April, 2018

Double Date. Directed by Benjamin Barfoot, screenplay by Danny Morgan. Certificate 15.

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I had not heard of this movie, it is not even available on DVD, this British gem of a movie that I'm so glad I got a chance to see. A simple premise of a movie, a man on the eve of his 30th birthday, Jim still a virgin, with his cocky best friend Alex who is determined to get him laid. Suddenly two beautiful women, Kitty and Lulu walk into the same bar, unbeknown to the lads are on the run from a serial killing spree, that involves picking up young men with the promise of sex, then slaying them.
A film that is marketed as a comedy, but has some serious dark sinister, and even cruel scenes. That actually takes it one step over the edge of any dark humour, and is actually quite horrible in places. This in no way makes this film unwatchable, in fact the opposite although the violent scenes are hard to watch, the film is carried by acting that is outstanding. Danny Jones as main character Jim is the star of this, but his cocky best buddie Alex, played by Michael Socha is equally as goo…

Underground, a short story by Robert Perks.

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Copyright of this story belongs to Robert Perks.
"Oh fuck, fuckety  fuck" why do we all think that when the alarm goes off, that same daily routine of getting up at stupid o'clock, going to fucking work that you hate, but hey ho you need to work for that one thing you know money, that helps you live. Rushing to catch that fucking train, you know will be overcrowded, full of the same daily faces, that have lost the ability to have any social interaction, "oh yeah I forgot I live in London" a regular feature here unfortunately. Only today was different, the train pulled into the station late as always, already seriously overcrowded with the usual types, the city folk dressed in their finest shiny suits, students with their backpacks, with earphones plugged in, noticing that all men these days even though incredibly young have massive amounts of facial hair. Massive bushy beards that ages them, with tattoo sleeves. Shit I'm only in my thirties yet I've turned …

Patchwork 2015. Directed by Tyler Macintyre. Release date 6th June 2017. Currently streaming on Amazon Prime.

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Another so called throw back to the eighties with this Reanimator wanna be, including even the green liquid. Three women, Jennifer, Ellie and Madeleine disappear one night to wake up sewed together in a reanimated corpse, the thing is although only body parts are used the three women's consciousness remain, and they talk together in an eventual plan for revenge on the mad doctor who did this to them. The problem is the film is neither funny, and not nearly gory enough, Reanimator and Frankenhooker got the parody just spot on, this film I found to be incredibly boring, with the three female leads unfortunately being unlikable. Half hour had passed and already the film had lost me, so I didn't really care for any of the rest of the movie. Even James Felps of Fred Weasley fame cannot save this movie, although Tory Stolper as Jennifer is stunning, and I do have a weakness for women with dark short hair, as they always remind me of a love I lost decades ago.  The only clever point of…

Terrifier 2018. Directed by Damien Leone. Distribution by Signature Entertainment. Released April 9th 2018. Certificate 18. Running time 88 minutes.

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Yet another clown movie, but one that has to be the most shocking, brutal attack on your senses, that is sickening in places, and dares to show gore, not pull the camera away, with the story changing so very soon, you thinking your going to be gunning for certain characters to be just a red herring, with more characters to introduce latter on. Art The Clown is without doubt the most sinister clown to ever grace our screens, showing up briefly in the between segments of All Hallows' Eve 2013. To finally have his own movie is a genius choice, I was thinking this wouldn't work, how wrong I was, this movie is shocking, the gore is sickening, we have the most depravitity of deaths, including a beheading, a woman literally cut in half with a hack saw from vagina to head, even a woman having her face chewed off lovingly by Art The Clown. If you cannot handle the gore do not watch this movie, I promise you if you are not a horror hound, or have experience in horror avoid this, as you w…

Circus Kane 2017. Directed by Christopher Ray, written by James Cullen Bressack. From Uncork'd Entertainment. Distribution by Frontline Home Entertainment. Released 16th April. Certificate 18. Running time 88 minutes.

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Many thanks for Uncork'd Entertainment for the screener copy, the reality is I would have quite happily paid for this movie, which was released in the UK this week. A typical story of a creepy house, a former famous circus performer famous for his bloody illusions on-stage. Being forgotten about though for generations, a bunch of lucky bloggers, horror ones at that are given a golden ticket to attend the horror house, blog, use social media to their followers, with the promise of danger, plus with the golden ticket prize of a quarter of a million dollars to any one to survive the house of horrors. Simple ideas are the ones that work the most, and the reason why I liked this movie, although it has links to 31 from Rob Zombie, the only difference is this has humour, not as deranged as any of Zombie's work, and is Infact a better movie than 31. Yes it is full of typical horror clich├ęs, killer clowns, demented Jester's, rooms of traps that are as equally as impressive as any Sa…

Party Bus To Hell 2018. Mahal Empire& Red Cardinal production presents a film by Rolfe Kanefsky. Release Date April13th. Not yet rated. Running time approx 85 minutes.

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What more can be said about this film, apart from fun, fun, fun, and even better Tara Reid having top billing is killed in the first 10 minutes making this movie perfect for me. Yes this movie is like Ronseal it does exactly what it says on the tin, a perfect grindhouse style movie never made to be taken seriously is why this movie is so ace. A bus filled with party goers going to attend the Burning Man festival, break down in the dessert to be surrounded by devil worshippers, who happen to sense that the choosen one is on the bus, a virginual 17 year old who must carry the devils child. With outlandish deaths, buckets of blood, dancing topless lovely young ladies, eating body parts, drinking and writhing in blood, is the perfect T&A movie. Even Devanny Pinn gets her lovely assets out. This movie is pure silliness at the highest order, but I loved it, some movies are made to be soooo serious, when this is made with pure entertainment, made for laughs, just so ridiculously bloody,…

Wish Upon. Distribution by Vertigo Releasing. Directed by John R. Leonetti. Running time 90 minutes. Certificate 15.

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AHH yes another generic horror movie, which is it about this time, a curse maybe? Ouija board games?, Spin The Bottle? a Doll? Truth or Dare? a cursed music box?
Yes you got it the latter, another teenage horror film set around high school, with every generic stereotypes ticked. Bullied kid, tick, spoilt girl, tick, a male friend who will clearly be your love interest, tick.
Yes this movie is like any other teenage movie ever made, and maybe not for the scenes of horror, it would've ended up on the kids Disney Channel. Even the kills are not inventive, trust me watch the trailer and it shows you all the deaths that are in the movie.
A film that is so like any other movie, it could've easily fitted in to the Final Destination movies, or even Ouija, Midnight Man, Bye Bye Man, and like all these movies easily forgotten. I'm glad I was given a copy of this movie, and not actually brought it, as I would've been pissed for spending my money on this turd of a film. Honestly…