Showing posts from February, 2018

Victor Crowley Bluray review. Available from the 6th February. Directed by Adam Green. Rated R, running time 86 minutes.

Like my previous review of Jigsaw, another excessive violent series was the Hatchet movies, about the swamp dwelling creature Victor Crowley, a deformed man, who was burned in a prank gone wrong, then slayed accidentally by his dad trying to save him from his burning cabin, his spirit now haunts the swamps, looking for revenge on the living, in some of the most ingenious kills ever.
Victor Crowley is a blood fest of the most crimson kind, but done in such a tongue and cheek way it is impossible to be offended by this in anyway. With probably the best gore gags seen on-screen in some time including a killing of a valium obsessed woman with her cellphone, being killed by  internally forcing her cellphone being forced through her lady bits, eventually exiting her mouth, before being turned litually inside out by the Hulk of Victor Crowley. We have brutal scalpings, a brilliant head crush, even death by airplane engine.
The story works as it is so simple, a bunch of film makers, making a…

Jigsaw 2017 DVD and Blu-ray review. Lionsgate entertainment. Certificate 18, running time 96 minutes. Available 26th February 2018.

Let the game begin. After a series of murders bearing the markings of the Jigsaw killer, law enforcement find themselves with the realisation, has John Kramer who is presumed dead over a decade ago back from the dead, or is there a copy cat killer following his previous work. With the lives of 5 people, all going to experience what life is, and how precious it is, by playing a very gruesome game to cleanse their sins, can the cops reach them in time. I'm being totally honest I lost faith in this franchise years ago, I didn't even bother watching 4,5,6 and seven properly, just fast fowarded to the gruesome death scenes, which in fairness what this franchise had become famous for.
A tourture porn movie franchise insistence of more blood and gore on-screen instead of a decent storyline like in the first few movies.
The strange thing is Jigsaw 2017 has gone back to its roots, cleverly referencing the first movie, and like the first movie, a great script, less reliant on excessive…

Tragedy Girls 2017 Film Review. Directed by Tyler Macintyre. Distribution by Gunpowder And Sky. Produced by It's The Comeback Kids, New Artist Pictures. Rated R, Running time 96 minutes.

Tragedy Girls or as I saw it Heathers for the kids, is actually a delicious dark satire on modern life, with the I want to be famous for actually doing nothing, by being an online sensation, using Twitter and You tube type of movie.
With other influences from Scream, and even Mean Girls, with a modern take using social media as an output for two girls who are desperately wanting to be the next online sensation, and using current events happening in their own town, with mysterious deaths, and even a possible serial killer on the loose.
With the girls blog The Tragedy Girls, who are desperate to scare everyone senseless with their theories, with the naivety of the townsfolk, and believing all the deaths are accidents, the girls set out to murder themselves, and act on their dark urges to kill , just to prove the townsfolk they are right, about a serial killer on the loose, including actually catching him, and wanting tips how to kill efficiently. With some glorious kills, plenty of blo…

Happy Death Day film review. Distribution from Universal Pictures, produced by Blumhouse. Directed by Christopher B. Landon.

Tree is about to have a very bad day, again, and again and again.
College Grad Tree, a self centred bitch, who you take an instant dislike to, who is foul to everyone.
Treats everyone like dirt, then wonders why someone would want her dead. With a groundhog Day loop thing going on every time she is murdered she has to live through the same Monday the 18th, until she can find out her wants her dead, solve her own murder, and maybe become a better person in the mean time. The thing is I really wanted to hate this movie, but I couldn't, because of the performance from Jessica Rothe as Tree, in her first scream queen role, starring previously in La La Land, and Netflix's Parallels.
She is so likeable and believable in the role, although playing the bitch perfectly, she is deep down a damaged soul, still mourning the death of her mother, and her grief is her anger towards fellow People.
With some inventive kills, and no matter what Tree does, the day always ends in her death, with…

Dark Mountain (2016) Film Review.White Lotus Productions, Ash Films, Surewould Presentation. Directed by Lou Simon. Distributed by Uncork'd Entertainment. rated R, running time 87 minutes.

This film is another prime example of a marketing team, and distribution rights changing the name in a different country, with a catchy title and cover to grab your attention. This film has already been marketed before under the name All Girls Weekend, released in July of 2016 originally.
Think of this film as a cross between The Happening,The Decent, and a little Blair Witch thrown in for good measure, a story of four high school friends reuniting many years after graduation.
Where they go off track for a three mile trek in the woods, that takes days,as they get lost, and get taken out one by one by the creepy forest,as mother nature is the serial killer,and requires blood to sustain itself. This film is a strange one as none of the girls like each other very much, so why would they want to spend a weekend together, in winter, on a team building type thing. So with the girls not being the best of friends and bitching at each other all the time, we have no time to be really empatheti…

The Green Inferno (2013) Film Review.Directed by Eli Roth.Distributedby Blumhouse Tilt, Universal Pictures.

So finally I have seen this,made in 2013, but with a limited cinema release late last year,why has it taken so long to come out? Is it any good? Well the answer is no. My only thought for the delay,is well,
it is not very good,and I'm thinking,this must've been a strong contender to be shelved by said film company.

With some terrible acting,actors who are looking like they are almost laughing between scenes,fart,shit,and dysentery,is not needed in this film. And the torture scene of the fat guy,is only put in to offend,and to gross out people. The same scene could've been done better,by hinting of the violence,sounds effects,and watching the faces of the people captured,looking on would be far more scary.

Eli Roth though does not do subtle, directing like an excitable child,wanting to show more blood on screen,a man who has been let loose in the Gore makeup box,and is determined to use every prosthetic,and corn syrup by the gallons.
Don't people know,that sometimes se…

Boneboys or Butcher Boys (2012) Film Review. Directed by Duane Graves,Justin Meeks.

What do you get if you cross Judgement Night, with Hostel you get this film set in Texas. Called Butcher Boys,or also known as Boneboys. A very strange film I think about cannibalism being the Drug of choice,and also business for a small number of gentleman. With young Females mainly on the Menu,especially Virginal teenage girls.

Four Teenage kids on a night out celebrating a17Th Birthday,Brother and sister Mikey,and Sissy,and boyfriend and girlfriend Kenny,whose birthday it is and his feisty girlfriend Barbie,who actually is the cause of all the mayhem that happens,through her stupidity and actions.

Anyway the four kids end up in a wrong part of town,and unfortunately run into this gang of lads,who decide they need a lesson taught,especially to the boys,and maybe the Girls will be on someone's menu.
we have in sorts firstly a chase,and survive movie,which turns into sickening and barbaric scenes,of Cannibalism,and torture movie of young girls,being prepped for quite simply a mea…

Eat Film Review. (2014). Edited,Written,and Directed by Jimmy Weber.

Although the premise of this film is a horrible one,a failed actress,who takes self harm to the next level,the message of this movie,is a very clever one,how many films actually deal with mental illness,yet alone,one about self harm,that many people with depression,unfortunately do. Yes we do not eat ourselves literally,but the whole self harm thing,is about hating yourself that much,you want to punish yourself,and by doing so inflicting pain on yourself.
What profession,is more demeaning,and soul destroying,than acting,something that can literally eat you away to the core. Failed auditions,not being liked,seeing others succeed,whilst you fail,to the strongest of minds,it must be soul destroying,but to someone,who knows thier age is against them,a damaged soul anyway,how can you possibly compete with the twenty something's who are willing to suck as much d##k,to get the role they want.
This is a companion piece to Starry Eyes,which is about the same profession,where that film is …

The Wyoming Incident, one clever hacking, or was it something more sinister

The Wyoming Incident is a strange one, when a mysterious broadcast appeared on local TV, in the Country of Niobrara that lasted for several minutes, with various disembodied heads, and strange wordings on-screen.
The fact that the flashing imagery changed every few seconds, this wouldn't have made much news, the fact afterwards people were being admitted to GP's and hospital's complaining of severe headache, sickness, and hallucinations brought on by this hack. The even stranger thing is paranormal experts were brought in to examine the footage, and the most bizarre thing is the frequency was not of a normal frequency but being between 17 and 19 Hz which when played for a period of time causes the eyes to vibrate, and too actually shake your brain.
No one has ever been caught for this hacking, yet no one has any clue either where it originated from, as it was left with absolutely no trace, leading experts to believe it could have come from a paranormal sources.
We shall n…

Fear Inc 2016 film review. Directed by Vincent Masciale, produced by Lone Suspect. Certificate 15, running time 95 minutes.

There is an urban legend about a phone number you ring, to get rid of someone. You ring this number, they say" they're busy" you hang up and they phone you back, if you don't give them a name, you or a member of your family will be next. Fear Inc works on the same premises a mythical service designed to tailor make the scare of your life, you just don't know when it'll start and how it will end.
Fear Inc is a rollercoaster of a ride, with more twists and turns than any scare ride.
The story of an Hollywood actor, facinated with all things horror, after going to a recent horror maze and being totally bored, he is given a business card for this company Fear Inc. so the day before Halloween he rings the number to hear them say " we're full" thinks no more of it, and whilst his girlfriend and his bestie and his wife are enjoying Halloween, mask intruders break into his mansion. He thinks it's part of the game from Fear Inc, and fails to take any…

Make America Great Again The New Founding Fathers.

With The Purge finishing in 2016, with the dystopian future ending with a New President, the franchise was struggling to go anywhere else.
Well no, James Demonaco the writer and director of the original first one is back on writing and producing duties only this time with director Gerald Mcmurray on board to direct.
With The New Founding Fathers desperately wanting to bring crime down to just 1% , a trial is suggested to make crime legal for one night only, in which all crime including murder is tolerated, with a trial night happening just across a few states it soon becomes apparent more Americans want to take part in this barbaric night of mayhem, thus starting the annual Purge. This prequel film will get a cinema release on the 4th July, and once again produced by Blumhouse productions.

Escape Room film review. Directed by Peter Dukes. Distribution by Signature Entertainment. Certificate 15, running time 84 minutes.

Escape Room, the second film with the same title, released in the UK by Signature Entertainment, with the naughty and very misleading Dvd cover, of a Saw wannabe, conveniently to coincide with the release of Jigsaw at cinemas.
With blink and you miss it cameos from Skeet Ulrich, and Sean Young, in the main titles of cause to draw you in.
The story of a cursed box, from the ages that just so happens to be in a junk shop, that is brought by Skeet Ulrich who happens to own an Escape Room attraction, that is now all the range, but his being the first is struggling, so adding the cursed box into the mix may spice things up. When four friends arrive at the Escape Room attraction, with one being a respective horror blogger, they are locked in, and told all clues are important, and they have just 55 minutes to escape.
Unfortunately an actor who plays a chained serial killer, in the room happens to get cursed by the box, and every 5 minutes his chains are released a little more into the room, …

Bite Film Review 2015. Directed by Chad Archibald. From Black Fawn Films, Breakthrough Entertainment. Certificate 18, running time 85 Minutes.

What can be said about Bite, apart from it has come from the David Cronenberg school of directing, a very subtle homage to The Fly, and influences from Naked Lunch, with the gross factor turned up to 100.
On the Paris debut of this film, apart from patrons being given sick bags on entry, two people actually collapsed whilst watching this gross fest.
Is it any good? That is a big question, I'm pleased it quickly turned away from the shaky hand cam footage early on, and turned into a real movie, in my favourite situations, a one room, one location movie, that works brilliantly from actress Elma Begovic point of view as Casey, whilst on her bachelorette, or as we say in the UK Hen party, she is bitten by some parasite living in water, whilst Casey is having serious changes in her mind about the wedding, as she is now home she is also going through various changes too, becoming more insect than human. Laying millions of eggs around her apartment, and turning it into a cocoon.
With th…

Mother 2017, film review. Directed by Darren Aronofsky. Distribution by Paramount Pictures. Certificate 18, running time 121 minutes. Released 22 January 2018.

Mother, a fucked up story that is disturbing, unsettling, has divided audiences, and has  one of the most disturbing scenes in motion picture history. From Darren Aronofsky, the acclaimed director of PI, Requeim For A Dream and Black Swan. His latest, although at first confusing, is quite easy to decipher, about the old fashioned one of a Mother that is the backbone, the heart of any family, married to a man, who is a writer with writers block, that unfortunately have unexpected house guests arrive, that upset the household, and the day to day running of this house. When Mother actually gets pregnant, her partner suddenly overcoming writers block, and publishing a massive best seller. Suddenly followers and so called fans of the book and writer, appear at the house. Full of fanatics, delusional people. The whole time Mother is ready to give birth. With an ending that is equally disturbing, sickening, that has upset so many people. This film has so many religious undertones, and once …

Cloverfield 3 or The Cloverfield Paradox is to be on Netflix straight after the Superbowl. February 3 2018. From Bad Robot Productions, and Paramount Pictures. Certificate 15, running time 102 minutes.

Cloverfield 3 or now known as The Cloverfield Paradox is now live on Netflix, like I and others predicted last week, instead of an April cinema release, it is now been buried amongst the thousands of other titles on the streaming giant.
Like I predicted last week, a great way to bury a bad film that Paramount were already having cold feet about this movie, already being pushed back two slots already.
Is it any good? Well like I said putting it on a streaming service is a great way to hide a below par movie, which Paradox actually is.
Having seen the movie, and warning it does contain spoilers, the movie in-sorts is a prequel, although at a different time frame to the original 2008 movie, and the 2016 set 10 Cloverfield Lane, what we now know, it is the start of the Cloverfield multiverse, which turns out that many of the creatures, UFO or Aliens are created by the events in Cloverfield Paradox, meaning the multiple universe theory put forward on various YouTube channels are correct.