Showing posts from May, 2017

Creepshow 2 Is celebrating its 30 year anniversary this month, and whata great film it is. Directed by Michael Gornick.Available by ArrowFilms US, and 88 Films UK. Original release date May 1st 1987.Certificate 18

Looking back at this movie 30 years old this month, a film that was hated by critics, even now only has low numbers on Rotten Tomatoes "WTF" this movie is amazing, due to budget restraints only three stories was told, rather than the five planned, one was never even filmed named Pinfall, and even now remains still a script, yet another story was filmed The Cat From Hell, but was given as a short story on Tales From The Darkside The Movie. The three stories that did remain was  Old Chief Wood'nhead The Raft and finally the Hitchiker.
Old Chief Wood 'nhead  was the first story about a wooden statue of a brave Indian warrior guarding an old couple's local store. When the store is raided by youngsters, one of them of native American decent, the couple is murderd by the robbers, to only have Chief Wood'nhead  enraged at the death of his owners, to come alive and claim the scalps of the young robbers, for their evil deed.
The Raft is easily the best of the three, …

Satanic 2016 movie review. Directed by Jeffrey Hunt. Distribution by Magnet Releasing. SODA pictures. Rated R, certificate 15 running time 75 minutes.

Satanic plot summary: Four college coeds on the way to Coachella decide to stop off at LA to visit Santaic haunts, made famous through history. They unfortunately on route take in a homeless stranger, who they feel sorry for. Which is a terrible mistake as they are tricked into somehow managing to invoke and then sell their souls to the Devil.
Starring Sarah Hyland, Justin Chon, Steven Krueger,  Clara Mamet, Sophie Dalah. Directed by Jeffrey Hunt ( Vampire Diaries fame) in a film that has been hated, slated, and just about torn apart from all critics, and in all fairness they are right as this movie is bad, but and a big but, it is actually enjoyable, with a great ending. In all fairness I did guess the twist, but it is still clever regardless, you do need to pay attention to some of the dialogue early on to understand, one crucial point is when Sophie Dalah ( Alice) says " hell is a beautiful confusion " The film only 73 minutes long spends almost 40 plus minutes in characte…

Vacancy (2007) Film Review. Directed by Nimrod Antal. Distributed bySony Pictures

What if you realised your stay in a Motel was to be taking part in some home movie. And not some smutty porn movie,but a real life snuff movie. Sold to the highest bidder,with the local Police turning a blind eye to the missing persons,who happen to stay at this Motel.

This is what this film is about,a room filled with 24 hour recording cameras,with secret rooms,and passageways,for two sadistic killers to attack,torture,and kill in gruesome ways,all being caught on hidden cameras,those poor souls who have the miss fortune to stay at this Motel.

With a Married couple,who are already at breaking point,and ready to seperate,travelling together,when they have car trouble,and come across this Motel in the Middle of nowhere.
It soon becomes apparent that something is wrong with this room,and the couple find,some of the cameras and one of the Hidden passages. It still doesn't stop them being attacked by the two masked raiders.

Luke Wilson,and Kate Beckinsale as the bickering couple are …

Severance - Film Review (2006) Directed by Christopher Smith.Distributed by Pathe. Celebrating its tenth anniversary this year,where oh where does time go.

What do you get if you add Danny Dyer,a bus load of co-workers on a team bonding weekend,In Hungary,ex Russian Soldiers,and a cabin used for dodgy covert activities we have Severance. A film my uncle called "just Cruel" that is unbelievably violent,with normal people,being forced into extraordinary circumstances,who have to fight for their lives over a weekend,from sadistic soldiers,who are happy to decapitate,disembowel,tie someone to a tree,and set them on fire using a flame thrower.
Yes this film is sick,the blood looks real,the violence is sickening,but underneath it all is a really genuinely funny dark comedy,with Danny Dyer,now an Eastenders actor,and a dodgy action star,in straight to video films. He was actually a really funny actor,and this and his early work,he was a real likeable cheeky cockney. But he had to turn into the cocky wideboy we see him as now.
The other star of this film,and to show the men how it is done,and how to survive is Laura Harris,who is know…

Hellraiser is surprisingly 30 years old this year, omg where has thetime gone.

Straight from the pages of Clive Barker's sick mind comes this gem from 1987 and surprisingly celebrating it's 30th anniversary this year directed by the writer himself, making his directorial debut, and what a film, that unfortunately has produced many crappy sequels, but undeniably this is the only one truly worth a mention. A film that took thespian Doug Bradley, normally a stage actor, and made him equally as famous in a role, as Robert Englund was to Freddy Krueger. Now Pinhead was never the name of this cenobite, it is only the name fans of the series named him, he was always susposed to be nameless.
Plot summary; A sexually deviant man unknowingly opens up a gateway to hell, that gives him all his sexual needs, in the form of sick torturous abuse in the form of hellish cenobites, opened from an ancient Chinese puzzle box. He escapes from hell, and wanting to become human again, with the help of this lover, and the need for human flesh, with the cenobites angry that he …

Bounty Killer movie review 2013. Raindance Entertainment, Kickstart Productions, Just Chorizo Productions. Distribution by Arc Entertainment, and Anchor Bay. Directed by Henry Saine. Certificate 18 running time 93 minutes.

The year is 2042, and the world is seperated into four groups, the survivors, the bounty killers, the gypsies, and the white collar CEO's. After a corporate war literally with major companies going to war, destroying the world and financial system as we know it, leaving the world in ruins, with the surviving CEO's and corporates going on the run with the rest of the worlds money, sounds like the world recession, and banking crisis of 2008 if you ask me. Anyhow a new government is set up, creating ultimate killers ( The Bounty Killers) to hunt down the surviving CEO's and kill them for the crimes against humanity " if only it could happen in real life"  The biggest and most famous Bounty Killer is Mary Death a lethal killing machine, beautiful but ultimately deadly, and has more kills to her name than any other killer, she is a celebrity in her own right, and is feared among the remaining CEO's.  When her partner Drifter ( Marsden) is framed by a newly formed Co…

Is Blood Father and Logan actually the same movie? I believe so, the similarities are just so bloody obvious.

* Warning contains spoilers from both movies, if you have seen neither I recommend you do not read further.
After watching Blood Father yesterday I cannot believe how similar it is to Logan, in actual fact take away the Sci-fi element of Logan and his blades, it is the same movie, about a dad trying to protect his daughter by harm. Both actors looking similar in age, both with full on bushy beard, every mannerism is almost identical to the rage in both actors. They are actually about the same build in this movie, with Gibson looking the biggest and most buff I have ever seen him Both have a western feel about it, with almost identical cinematography, both with a dirty gritty feeling to both movies. The movie posters are almost identical, the only thing missing from Gibson's poster is three claws on each hand. They look so similar it is uncanny, that either actor could have swapped roles, and no one would have noticed.
The both films are about estranged fathers who are suddenly reunited w…

The Cat In The Hat, meets IT, definitely one of the scariest kids movies ever made.

I've just seen the best mashup trailer I have seen in a long time, using IT from 2017 and mashing it up with The Cat In The Hat, we have one of the most frightening kids movie trailers I have ever seen. Now I'm being Honest Mike Myers freaked me out in this movie, and I was a grown adult, my teenage daughter even now refuses to watch this movie as it still scares her so seeing this trailer today did make me chuckle, and I have sent her a link on Twitter to freak her out, isn't that what dads are for, to wind up your children. I hope you enjoy, it really is the cleverest trailer mashup I have seen in quite a while.

The Bye Bye Man movie review (2017). Huayi Brothers Pictures, Intrepid Pictures, Los Angeles Media Fund. Distribution by STX Entertainment US, Entertainment In Video UK. Directed by Stacy Title.

Starring Douglas Smith. Lucien Laviscount, Cressida Bonas, Michael Trucco, Jenna Kanell, Cleo King and Carrie-Anne Moss and Faye Dunaway. Distribution by Entertainment In Video, running time 92 minutes, certificate 15.
I'm going to really controversial by saying I'm one of the few people who enjoyed this movie, and cannot understand the hate towards it. Another Urban Legend type movie, in the vain of Candyman, and Sinister, a tale of a boogeyman, that when you hear his name will haunt you, and make you do unspeakable things. With the Title "Don't Think It, Don't Say It, once his name has been spoken aloud all who hear are cursed, and all suffer the same fate of horrible visions, dreams, and the only way to stop him, is to kill yourself, and anyone who has heard his name, like cutting out the cancer before it spreads. The film is based on the chapter “The Bridge to Body Island” in Robert Damon Schneck’s nonfiction book The President’s Vampire, a  collection of short…

This weeks horror releases for the UK, all released Monday 15th May 2017.

This weeks horror releases for the UK, week commencing 15th May 2017. 

Don't Fuck In The Woods 2016 movie review. Production companies Concept Media, Vultra Video, Dopest Shit Ever, Jonestown Films. Directed by Shawn Burkett. Unrated, running time 73 minutes.

Warning this review contains vaginas, boobs, butts, penis's I knew that would grab your attention, well it certainly contains the three B's Blood, Boobs and Butts, and is quite unashamed by this, everything you'd expect from a title that says Don't Fuck In The Woods. From director Shawn Burkett this crowdfunded movie, and you know this movie is fucking ace, yes it is low budget, but what the fuck it is amazing, the acting isn't great, but I have seen a lot worse on movies three to four times the budget on this movie. The standout of cause is Brittany Blanton Who is positively gorgeous, the perfect final girl, a real woman with curves, great ass, real boobs, and can actually act, and the woman who I wanted to be the final girl, and was not disappointed. This is a creature feature movie, that doesn't dwell on the creature too much, the offspring of the Predator meets Ghoulies, quite simply yes it is someone in a latex suit, but I don't care, practical effect…

Mad Max Fury Road Black And Chrome edition. Released Monday 15th in the UK from Warner Bros Pictures. Certificate 15.

This finally gets a Bluray release on Monday 15th May in the UK, already available in a limited edition Steel book courtesy of Zavvi exclusive  for a few months now, although it may have  Sold out,  a film I'll admit previously hated, but on repeat viewings it has grown on me and it is an amazing piece of film making. I still stand by my original points I made that Charlene Theron is the true star of this movie, and a poor performance from Tom Hardy, every time he wears a mask he puts in a terrible performance " Blain anyone!!"
Still the action set pieces are incredible, and for some reason although visually perfect in its original cut,  the black and white version works, and you know improves the film making it look more gritty. Yes I prefer the black and white version, and it looks incredible in hi definition.
A limited edition that actually improves on the original movie. I was wrong about this movie first time round it really is incredible.

The Hike 2011 movie review. Certificate 15, running time 83 minutes approximately

I watched this last night in the UK on The Horror Channel, my first thoughts another survival in the woods type movie, yes I forgave the bad acting early on as I knew it wasn't going to get better, I forgave the cliché of good looking women going hiking in skimpy shorts. What I couldn't forgive is what this movie wanted to be, a slasher? a survival movie?, a torture porn movie? a film that tried all three and failed miserably, it was neither shocking enough, or even violent enough.
Even with scenes of potential rape, there was no tension, the bad acting just made it worse, it wanted to be shocking but pulled away pardon the pun on every scene. The violence should have been shocking, but ended up with the camera panning away. Now I'm not condoning violence in any way, but it is the reason why we all like horror, and this film was neither shocking or gory enough to promote any reaction. Watch Last House On The Left, or even I Spit On Your Grave remakes, and they show you ho…

Incarnate film review (2016) Directed by Brad Peyton. IM Global, Blumhouse Productions, WWE Sudios. Distribution by Blumhouse Tilt, High Top Releasing and Universal pictures. Certificate 15, running time 91 minutes.

Starring Arron Eckhart, Carice Van Houten, David Mazouz, Catalino Sandino Moreno, Mathew Nable. Incarnate is simply a cross between any exorcism movie mixed with the 1984 film Dreamscape, with the modernist approach of Inception. A scientific view on the whole exorcism scene, using science, and a unique gift of psychic abilities, the ability to tap into the subconscious brain, where a possesd person will be, trapped in a dream like state, as the entity is called a parasite in this movie attacks the host from within, feeding of its energy. If you can convince the person or their subconscious that the reality they are experiencing is not real, the host can force out the parasite or evil entity from within as it will no longer have power and control over it's host, and will no longer be able to feed off the host it is residing in. Sounds complicated but this film actually works, on paper you look at it and think "what the funk" a man with psychic abilities can tap into the su…

Inferno (2016) film review. Imagine Entertainment, LStar Capital, Columbia Pictures. Directed by Ron Howard. Distribution by Columbia Pictures. Certificate 15, running time 121 minutes.

Starring  Tom Hanks, Felicity Jones, Irrfan Khan, Omar Sy, Ben Foster, Sidse Babett Knudsem. Universally condemned by critics, being accused of being lazy film making in the form of director Ron Howard, but you know I didnt hate this movie. Yes it is a complete rehash of the previous two, a combination of Jason Bourne Vs National Treasure, with a religious element added into it, with The descendents of Christ, And The Nights Templars in The Davici Code, the God particle in Angels And Demons and Dantes Inferno in Inferno.
I have to say most of the film was a plodding mess that just involved Tom Hanks over acting, and running slowly, then again he is in his early sixties now. The  film does bring up some interesting points about human population, and the fact that since 1970 the population of the world had increased from two billion people to six billion, so if this trend continues in another 40 years over 20 billion souls could be alive, which will stretch the natural resources of the w…