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Showing posts from July, 2016

They're Watching (2015) Film Review. Warsong Entertainment,Best ServedCold Presents a film written and directed by Jay Lender,Micah Wright.Distributed by Amplify. Released March 25th 2016 On VOD,Rated R,running time 95 minutes.

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This is the craziest movie I have watched in some time,it is brilliant in the fact you believe it to be going one way,then a complete turn on your head crazy twist that is brilliant. Let me explain if you live in the UK we have a lot of travel TV programs,we have a lot of home hunting programs,and we have a combination of the two namely Homes In The Sun, where expected home buyers look for a suitable home abroad, whilst being filmed by a camera crew and usually a good looking female presenter is directing them in which way to buy,we then cut to 18 months later and that same camera crew come out once more to see how the home owners have adapted to their new life in a different country.  This film is identical to that we follow a young couple moving from America to some Eastern European country,we see them buy this shack of a house,to then have the film crew coming to view the property again,and to see the new owners,and what they have done to this property,some time later.  We find th…

Gridlocked (2015) Film Review. Distributed by Magnet Releasing US, Kaleidoscope UK. Directed by Allan Ungar. Available now on DVD and Bluray US, available In the UK on Netflix,and to buy on 12th September 2016 UK. Rated R Restricted US,15 certificate UK.

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Think of this movie as a cross between Assault On Precinct 13 and The Hard Way,another straight to Bluray and DVD movie that as violent action films go isn't the worst, just don't expect anything groundbreaking either. Starring Prison Break's Dominic Purcell (David Hendrix) a quick replacement for the role that was originally offered to Cuba Gooding JR,with the usual bad guy Stephen Lang ( Korver),with the very British Vinnie Jones ( Ryker) as his right hand henchman, also starring WWE Wrestling star Trish Stratus (Gina),and newcomer Cody Hackman ( Brody Walker) with a very short cameo from Roger Glover. With Hollywood Bad boy Brody Walker (Hackman) on his last chance,after assaulting a paparazzi,then drink driving,he is this time going to prison,and not even his publicist,and agent can stop him. Unless he shows he has respect for the judicial system,he pleads guilty on a plea charge,and will have to serve community service chaperoning a hardend police detective David Hendri…

Batman The Killing Joke (2016) Film Review. Dc Comics, Warner BrosAnimation. Directed by Sam Liu. Distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures.Released 22nd July On VOD, R Rating,15 certificate UK. Running time 76minutes.

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Batman The Killing Joke as finally made it onto the big screen,albiet in Cartoon form,based on the graphic comic by Alan Moore,that has taken almost three decades to finally get made. With it being put on the back burner for so many times. Starting with rumours in 2009 when Watchmen came out,another one of Moores novels. With a decision it would be made,but once again put on hold after the terrible shootings In Aurora Columbia at the midnight premiere of The Dark Knight Rises. It finally did get the go ahead,but with a story that featured heavily on rape and abuse,and the degregation of women especially towards Barbara  Gordon,after being paralysed at the hands of the Joker,it was always a hard sell to producers,especially a Restricted R rating,where untill Deadpool,it was a no go for comic book heroes  
This film is a great film,that in places works better than the graphic novel,Mark Hamill returning as the voice of the joker is outstanding. The one thing that I never understood was…

The Harvesting (2016) Film Review. Written by Ben Everhart. Directed by Ivan Kraljevic. Distributed by Matchbox Films. Certificate 15 UK running time 92 minutes. Released 18th July 2016 on DVD.

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I'll have to admit I didn't mind this film, a film told with two parallel stories,that very cleverly intertwine in the final third. Firstly we see the simple life of an Amish family,farming, living a simple life.
All of a sudden one young man,turns and kills all his brothers with an axe for no apparent reason,then commits suicide by jumping in front of a huge truck on the main Highway, before dying saying "it is too late it is already here". With stories of an evil and un-godly presence in the woods,and only their true Christian faith is keeping it at bay.

We then cut to a young family, with serious  problems in their marriage, due to an affair, on the part of the Wife,and the husband believes the only way to save his family is by moving back to the Amish community he knew and lived by as a child.
The Amish are not known to be the most sociable with outsiders,but from the moment the family move into this house, they are warned to leave. With the same warnings of sta…

My Favourite and my top 10 of found footage films.

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The Blair Witch (2016) released on general release September, Directed by Adam Wingard. The official sequel to The Blair Witch Project (1999).

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Blair Witch 2016 

This film has to be the best kept secret in Hollywood,being called the woods,during filming,production and Finally the rap,being directed by Adam Wingard,the excellent director of Your Next,and The Guest,comes his take on the best found footage film ever made,and also for the first time a direct sequel to the 1999 classic The Blair Witch Project.  We have Heather's brother determined to find answers to his sisters disappearance all those years ago  Determined to to go to Blair once more,and truly find out what happened to his sister in that famous woods. I have seen the trailer that finally dropped on Friday,and you know it does look good,and if it is anything like the original,that actually freaked myself and my cousin when we watched it together all those many years ago I will be watching this one in September at the cinema like I did the first one,to get that true cinematic experience. I am hoping it is be…

Holidays (2016) Film Review. Directed by Kevin Kölsch,Dennis Widmyer,Gary Shore,Nicolas MacCarthy,Sarah Adina Smith.Anthony Scott Burns,Kevin Smith,Scott Stewart,Adam Egypt Mortimer. Production companies XYZ Films, Distant Corners Entertainment. Distributed by Vertical Entertainment US,Kaleidoscope Home Entertainment UK. Available from April 22nd 2016 US, streaming on Netflix UK now.

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Anthology  films are very popular now, since the ABC'S Of Death, V.H.S, which as a horror fan is what the 80's and early 90's were about, with Creepshow 1 and 2 Takes From The Crypt, being very good horror anthologies.What makes these films so popular is the diverse ideas,and stories from different directors, most of them great horror directors, to the modern Indie directors, that are rejuvenating the horror market at the moment.
With this recent anthology  film being surprisingly good, directors given a certain holiday tradition, and to them give their take on it,with some working brilliantly some not so, but it is a very good overall watching experience with my favourite segments, Valentine's day, Easter,New Years Eve, are excellent, with the Easter segment having a scene in it, and the first time in years made me jump, and curse at the screen.


Valentine's Day written and directed by Kevin Kölsch and Dennis Widmyer. A story of a high school student infatuated and in…

All Girls Weekend (2016) Film Review.White Lotus Productions, Ash Films, Surewould Presentation. Directed by Lou Simon. Distributed by Uncork'd Entertainment. Released 12th July on VOD, rated R, running time 87 minutes.

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All Girls Weekend, my first thoughts it is going to be a soft core sex comedy in the vain of American Pie, and if you just saw that heading that is the film most would be expecting, not a survival/ slasher movie.
Think of this film as a cross between The Happening,The Decent, and a little Blair Witch thrown in for good measure, a story of four high school friends reuniting many years after graduation.
Where they go off track for a three mile trek in the woods, that takes days,as they get lost, and get taken out one by one by the creepy forest,as mother nature is the serial killer,and requires blood to sustain itself.

This film is a strange one as none of the girls like each other very much, so why would they want to spend a weekend together, in winter, on a team building type thing. So with the girls not being the best of friends and bitching at each other all the time, we have no time to be really empathetic with any of the Characters.
It is obvious who the final girl is going to be…

Nightmare (2016) Film Review. Directed by Äke Gustafsson, Fredrik Hedberg,Jacob Kondrup. Distributed by 88 films UK, certificate 15, running time 76 minutes.

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Nightmare released on 11th July 2016, is a repackaged movie released originally as the title Mara,this 2013 Swedish film starring Glamour Model,and Playboy star Angelica Jansson  on her acting debut,and you know she makes a decent effort,disappointing that they had to resort in the final third,of having her in her run about in her underwear drenched in blood at the end of the film,it isn't called for,but only put in to show off her great curves,shame as her performance is convincing throughout the film without the need for near nudity. Just a tip whilst watching this film the voiceover at the start is the whole clue to this movie,so if you miss that part you are missing out on an integral part of this story.
A simpĺe story of a girls past  coming back to haunt her in adult life,Jenny (Jansson)  after witnessing  her Father's murder at the hands of her Mother as a child, she is put  into psychiatric care because of the trauma she suffered, whilst her Mother is locked up indefi…

Darkside (2014) film review. Favorit Films,Red Giant Media, PipelineEntertainment. Directed by Jay Wiesman. Distributed by Uncorked entertainment US, 101 Films UK. Running time 92 minutes. Certificate 15.

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Above is two versions of the same film,the left is the US version, named Shockwave Darkside,the right is the UK version currently available from the 11th July,by 101 films.

Here we have a sci-fi premiered  at London Frightfest Film Festival August 2014, I knew nothing about this film,and went in blindly, it is only since I have watched the film,that I have experienced all the severe negativity,and to be honest I like to find the good in any film,well unfortunately in this I could not find anything.
We have another post apocalyptic story of the Worlds Waters being polluted by a Nano Plague, to then have Alien invaders, force the rest of humanity to repopulate onto the moon. With a new invasion launched from Earth 'The Unlight' Alien invaders,have found pockets of water on the Darkside of the Moon,and we have a battle for the natural resource, all living things need and that is water. On paper or even script it has a decent idea,but with a completely confusing,and ridiculous script…

THE VVITCH A New England Folktale, (2016) Film Review. Productioncompanies, Parts And Labour, Rooks Nest Entertainment, RT Features.Distributed by A24, Lionsgate US, Universal Pictures UK. Rated R US,Certificate 15 UK, running time 93 minutes.

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The VVitch released Monday 18th July 2016 on Bluray and DVD in the UK.
I'm going to be totally honest here I do not like period dramas of any kind, and I had a feeling that this was not going to be my cup of tea, and my fears about this film proved me right. I have  avoided over the years films like The Crucible, Ravenous and The Village for these same reasons. Please though this is purely my view on this film,others love it, others like me probably hated it,I just felt this was one of these films made,and because a few critics loved it,everyone is expected to drool all over it. I just didn't get it,or like it. It was incredibly slow and incredibly bleak and boring for me, a film made to make you a little anxious rather than being scared,and others will probably hate me for this, but it is incredibly bad acted,by typical Yorkshire actors, with Ralph Ineson normally staring in just about every TV program about northern people,in the UK and we are saturated with his voice espec…

London Has Fallen (2016) Film Review.Millennium Films,G-Base.Directedby Babak Najafi. Distributed by Focus Features, GramercyPictures US,Lionsgate UK. Released on DVD and Bluray 14th June US. 18thJuly UK. Running time 99 minutes.

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Olympus Has Fallen, oh shit sorry wrong movie London has Fallen,the carbon copy of the previous movie,starring Gerard Butler,Aaron Eckhart,Morgan Freeman,and Angela Basset,a film with so many plot holes,and being a Brit myself laughable at the American version of how they think the UK and its procedures operate.We have the death of the British Prime Minster dying in a routine hospital operation,to only have Cobra, the British meeting of the top cabinet members,Police chiefs, to arrange the state funeral of the Prime Minister and in record time,with all the security arrangements in place to protect the arrival of all other world leaders. We have the US President who chooses to arrange his own arrangements,and have his own security detail with Mike Banning (Butler) the one man John McClane who, when push comes to shove can take out a hundred terrorists in a blink of an eye,and can actually dodge a millions rounds of ammunition aimed at him and only catch one bullet,whilst every single …

Batman Vs Superman Dawn Of Justice ( 2016) Film Review. Directed byZack Snyder. Distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures. Released on Blurayand DVD Tuesday 19th July US. August 1st UK.Running time Theatrical version 153 minutes,extended cut 183 minutes.

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So I have finally seen Batman v Superman Dawn Of Justice and is it really as terrible as people are saying,well my first viewing, I was tired,grumpy,and I was a little harsh about this film,so this post has been re-edited after I have had a second viewing of this film. The film still  looks like a 150 minute trailer,with scene after scene put together,most of the time making no sense,an incoherent mess of a film. Following on from Man Of Steel,with the general public not sure about the real actions of Superman, with graffiti smeared on walls with the words "False God". Even Bruce Wayne has taken a complete distrust to this Man,after one of his buildings was destroyed,and a good friend killed,in the fight for Metropolis,between Superman and General Zod.
The Welsh wonder Henry, I mean Superman really does want to be loved,but after a terrorist attack on a building he was attending,he realises he cannot possibly save everyone,and hangs up his cape. With Bruce Wayne having Visio…

Carnage Park (2016) film review.Diablo Entertainment.Distributors IFC Midnight. Directed by Mickey Keating. Rated R,released July 1st 2016 VOD, running time 90 minutes.

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A complete throwback to the dirty,grainy exploitation flixs of the seventies,if you liked Texas Chainsaw Massacre,The Devils Rejects,any film from Sam Peckinpath,and a little nod to Quentin Tarantino school of directing you will love this. It is a really good film,spoilt by the fact it is just like watching a Tarantino movie,the opening alone looks like you are watching a cross breed between Resevoir Dogs,and The Gecko Brothers kidnapping From Dusk Till Dawn,the only thing really missing is the Titty Twister. The film also reminded me of Wolf Creek , and expecting Mick Taylor to pop up any minute,with the desolate desert setting. This is a simple film,a small town bank is robbed,a farmers daughter Vivian (Ashley Bell) is taken as a hostage and leverage,from the two bank robber Scorpion Joe ( James Hébert)  and Kenny (Michael Collar),who end up trespassing on land belonging to an extremely unhinged Vietnam war veteran Wyatt Moss (Pat Healy) with a snipers rifle,who likes the thrill of…

Bloodsucking Bosses (2016) Film Review.Distributed by Entertainment One UK. Directed by Brian James O'Connell. Rated R US, Certificate 15 UK, running time 87 minutes. Released May 16th 2016.

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Bloodsucking Bastards or Bloodsucking Bosses as known in the UK is another example of the recent influx of horror comedies we have seen of late. At least this time it isn't zombies,but not used for some years  now since Twilight,30 Days Of Night,and Stake Land a film about vampires,this time in the workplace,with a clever nod to the mundane of life,especially in the workplace,how an organisation can suck out the life out of you,drain you of your normal personality,in a crappy,but controlling work environment,that is the idea of this film. A new management comes in with unbelievable high expectations,and targets,to the dismay of the staff,but soon with some  staff members personality changes,working longer hours,and looking a little pale,and completely dedicated to the workplace that they didn't before,is more alarming to two slackers that something has drastically changed in the workplace.
It turns out the new management is Vampires,and turning the staff into the undead,can mak…

Kill Command (2016) film review. Distributed by Signature Entertainment UK.Directed but Steven Gomez. Certificate 15, running time 97 minutes.

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As advertised on this DVD and Bluray cover,Predator meets Terminator,and unfortunately they are right and the reason this film offers absolutely nothing new to the Sci-fi genre. With  the forest setting being like Predator,with Marines being picked off one by one by an unstoppable robot army with incredible AI technology that they learn from each battle,and fighting manoeuvres.to become better killing machines in the field. This is a film that maybe if I was a little younger would have loved, but growing up watching the classics first hand in the eighties, it is hard to see any other film without thinking I've seen it all before. The acting though is really good, and for a low budget film, the effects, and visuals make it look like a higher end Sci-fi movie.  The Robots look just like they should, and actually look if they are army machinery, with a scary scorpion look to them, but as said before look man-made and not like some Sci-fi film hundreds of years advanced into the futur…

The Banshee Chapter (2013) Film Review.Directed by Blair Erickson.Distributed by XLrator Media US,and 101 Films UK

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We all have that lingering feeling, is there something out there? other dimensions,realms,is ours the only reality ? ,or maybe with a help of a drug you could see,far beyond worlds.
This film asks this question,and my goodness the answers are bloody terrifying.
Based on H.P Lovecraft short story The Beyond,we have a journalist,determined to look into the controlled drug experiments done,on Americans from the Sixties,into the seventies.
Which did really happen,as the freedom of information act,must release documentation,with a clip of Bill Clinton from the nineties,then president,making an apology at the start of the film,with the American involvement of these tests.
When this drug,comes to light,the journalist takes it,experiences severe paranoia and disappears,with his friend,and former colleague determined to find the truth.
What if a drug can be made,to open up your mind to see other worldly things,beings that are evil in definition that has manipulated the human race into creatin…

The Brothers Grimsby (2015) Film Review. Big Talk Productions, Four By Two Films,L Star Capital,Village Roadshow Pictures and Working Title Films.Distributed by Columbia Pictures. Directed by Louis Leterrier. Certificate R US, 15 DVD, 18 Bluray UK. Running time 83 minutes. Already available in US, released this week 4th July 2016 UK.

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From the creative mind of Sacha Baron Cohen, the comedy mind behind Borat, Bruno, The Dictator comes his most offensive comedy yet The Brothers Grimsby. Think of it as a combination as James Bond meets Shameless, with Jeremy Kyle added just for fun. A movie that could have been a decent action comedy, it it wasn't trying so hard to offend. Do we really want to see a man sucking another man's balls, do we really want to see a facefull of elephant jizz,well no. Set in the Northern Town of Grimsby,famous for its docks, and especially fish,it is a story of two brothers,who's single parent dies suddenly,leaving both in care with social services. When it turns out a family has been found to adopt them,the family only want the one child,so Nobby the older brother decides to stay in care,whilst his younger brother Cobby is adopted by a wealthy London Family. Separated for 28 years it is Nobby's mission in life to be reunited with his younger brother.
Now Cobby,Nobby's youn…

The Giver (2014) Film review. Distributed by The Weinstein Company. Produced by Neil Koenigsberg, Nikki Silver. Directed by Phillip Noyce. Certificate PG13 US, 12 UK,running time 97 minutes.

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The Giver by Lois Lowry the book that inspired all the other novels,The Hunger Games, The Maze Runner, Divergent series,the original apart from George Orwell's 1984,about a vile distopian future,called Sameness,where all emotions are controlled by a daily drug,no colour is seen,so no diversity between skin colour,no religion,everybody is the same,almost a very sick version of communism,where everyone are equals. Where their entire life is watched and monitored,almost like a Truman Show,from birth to adolescence,where 16 being the magic number they are divided into certain work groups, Birthing Mothers,Drone Pilots,Carers,and Fathers involved in the sickest part of this movie Releasing,or in charge of euthanising the old in society and the very young,or babies that don't make a certain weight or a certain point of development. The one scene In the book,that has had script writers cowering,and producers not wanting to touch this great movie,as the one scene a baby is injected,al…

Scary Movie 5 (2013) Film Review. Brad Grey Pictures, Dimension Films. Directed by Malcolm D. Lee Distributed by Dimension films,and The Weinstein Company. Entertainment In Video UK. Certificate R, 15, running time 89 minutes unrated version.

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Call me sad but I do like these movies,firstly written by the Wayne's brothers,then being taken over by the geniuses behind Airplane,Top Secret,Naked Gun and Hot Shots,  David Zucker,with number 3 being my all time favourite, one because it stars Charlie Sheen,and Leslie Nielson,secondly it really is balls out funny. I can remember 2004 being a turbulent year for me, especially around the summer months,well this film was available to buy, so I got it and for eighty minutes it made me forget my problems,with the main send up of another favourite movie of mine Signs. Well I like number 5 as it is a sequel of sorts to number 3, with Charlie Sheen,and Simon Rex reprising their roles once more,this time as a send up to Paranormal Activity and Mama,with in my opinion the best nod to Evil Dead 2013,that actually beats that movie in one five minute parody section. Starring this time Alien's In The Attic,and High School Musical's Ashley Tisdale,as Jody Sanders wife of Dan Sanders (Si…