COOTIES - Film Review, Directed by Jonathan Milott, Cary Murnion

Jamie Oliver was right about the dangers of chicken nuggets

In the history of exploitation films,and Horror films,no one have ever made a film about the titular Cooties viral infection,more prevent in American culture,I believe we call them cold sores over in the UK. This is what Elijah Wood had researched,being quite a lover of all things Horror related,and forming his production company four years earlier,and who is proud to promote,and produce indie Horror film makers,with his company SpectreVision.

With the scriptwriting talents of Leigh Whannell,And Ian Brennan,the screen writers of the Saw franchise,and Glee respectively.we have a genuinely funny Horror film,with nice amounts of gore thrown in. And plenty of bloodthirsty pre pubescent children with a taste for blood. Yes this a zombie,viral type film,being caused by an infected batch of chicken nuggets,from a local poultry factory.
One girl eats one of the nuggets,falls ill,bites another brat in her class,by biting a chunk out of his cheek.

All this happens on Clints first day as a substitute teacher,who has recently moved back from NewYork,to his home town,to concentrate on his first horror novel,and just temp,to get a little money.
With the usual stereotypical characters,we have the sexual uptight feminist teacher,who hates men, the socially awkward Sex-ed teacher,the closet gay teacher,who everyone knows is gay,and the jock who is the P.E teacher. When the outbreak happens one break time,the teachers witness it all from the staff room. When the kids get back into the school,the teachers have to baracade themselves in,until three o clock home time,when the parents come to collect the kids. Trouble is the kids eat the parents at this time. So the teachers have to make a decision,to be eaten,or to fight the little bast@@@s.

I was impressed by this film,the ratio of violence to comedy elements actually worked perfectly,with some genuine tension in scenes in the final third,with kids being beaten back,by baseball launchers,cymbals being swung abound on a rope,to decapitate pupils. The only thing I hated,and that is a strong word,but I did was the abrupt ending. With everything in full swing,a fantastic set piece in a child's indoor play pit,and that was that,it is almost like the writers ran out of ideas,or it has been deliberately left open for a sequel,that even Elijah Wood has admitted may happen.
I was left so deflated,with a "shit is that it" with no real ending to this film,no conclusion,that in the end ruined my whole previous 87 minutes of viewing pleasure.

Yes it is a funny film,with fantastic writing,Elijah Wood,is fab in a comedy film,so is Rainne Wilson,as the P.E teacher,who is easily the best character in the film,and we know he can do comedy,from his work on The American Office. As I said it really is a fun film.that has one of the worst endings I have ever seen,shame as this could have made one of all time comedy films,but in the end ruined for me.

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